Don’t like me, please!

One thing I don’t understand is people’s behavior in social media. First of all, when did we start calling social networking sites and apps “social media”? Like, that’s not media I’m active on. Of course I share media but that’s a network rather than media. yeah I get it all of these are media but still, nevermind.

I have a lot of problems with this social networks. I mean I’m OK with sitting in a cafe and suddenly a person comes and talks to me then somebody else mentions a thing and we make a social group. No matter that’s temporary or permanent, that’s nice. However, what I see in online social networks, say like Twitter, is misery.

People’s interactions are now boosting (retweeting) and liking comments. Everywhere we sit there are people taking photos from their food and rating restaurants and checking-in in squares. In most fun places, we see sad, tired, sick, and dead (not physically) people looking at their phones being active in their so-called social media not having fun but pretending.

I have a lot of problems. When did we start needing followers? When following people became a thing? I follow a bunch of people that’s not basically bad but what I have problem with is needing and craving for followers. What I don’t understand is showing a relationship or endorsement or likes by following people.

I don’t need my friends following me. If one of my friends unfollows me, I wouldn’t break my friendship with that person. I understand how simple it is. If a person doesn’t like what I’m saying or sharing, that person should be able to stop interacting with me.

Since when do we need followers? How a number on our profile online shows our personality or whether we’re good or bad or right or wrong? How can we be hurt by having less followers than others? Why we need to have less following than followers to have dignity or self confidence?

Another thing I have problem with is liking. Why there’s no social network that doesn’t have a like button? Why we can’t simply agree or disagree by talking? I would really appreciate if someone comments on my blog post and tells me that that person disagrees.

How liking a post shows agreement? I never like any post on social networks because I hate it. I hate showing my interest by clicking on a button. What’s wrong with mentioning people and talking? What happened to people being able to respond?

There are social networks that let you disable commenting; why there’s not social networks that lets you disable liking? Talk to me. If you do like it, write it down and tell your reason. Even write your own experience and story about it. I hate getting likes. I hate getting boosted. What I like is to see you write your own experience about stuff I said.

No. I’m not interested in you because you had more followers than following or your toots (tweets in Mastodon) get hundreds of likes and boosts. I’m following you and I’m interested in you because you have experienced life and career and a lot of other things and I found them interesting.

Another thing I have problem is messaging apps. Since when WhatsApp and Telegram and Signal became our standard messaging system? What happened to emailing people? Why are you giving me you Telegram phone number instead of a professional or personal email address? Why do I have to install an app to be able to communicate with people?

Back in the days, we did everything with our emails. Even for planning stuff. We weren’t scheduling a party or a meeting on a group chat on a messaging app, we would create a mailing list, private or public, and discuss it there and everybody were happy.

Another thing I have problem with is having social profiles instead of a website or a weblog. Now everybody has a Twitter or Mastodon or Facebook. Even those who have websites just put links to their social networking profiles. You open their website and it’s like here’s my Twitter, here’s my GitHub, here’s my Instagram, don’t bother me, bye.

What’s wrong with people? I miss those days when it was fun to open a personal webpage of somebody and surf it. I miss those days that we would create special pages for stuff. People were enjoying their lives before social networks. We would take pictures of our trip and even if we wanted to share them, we would create a post or a page.

Now everybody has a Medium account. Even our weblogs are now in social networking sites. Social network for photos, social network for statuses, social networks for code, social network for weblogs, social network if you read a book.

Why we don’t read books? The hell happened to reading books? Now we get every information from BBC or Fox News for retarded people or CNN for those who believe Biden really likes them. When did we stop reading books or going to a library? I’m OK with reading news, I read news, but that’s not where you learn stuff. You learn by reading and experimenting.

Another thing I have problem with is talking. Why we can’t talk to each other anymore? Why people think me not agreeing with their view means that I have a personal issue with them? I don’t even know you and you have no impact on my life. I do care if you’re violated or abused or hurt because you’re a human being but those are serious stuff.

Why are you boosting/retweeting stuff you don’t agree and make more people see that? Why can’t we comment or mention stuff like normal human beings. What’s different on online social networks than non-digital networks? Why people get offended or hurt because we don’t agree with them?

Me telling you that your belief about flat earth is stupid, is because your belief about flat earth is stupid. I don’t care if you were graduated from Harvard or you employ 300 people. And I don’t have any personal issue with you whatsoever. Let’s say if you get hurt and some random other person gets hurt, I would do everything I can for both of you equally.

Lots of problems. Why do people share everything? Getting on the plane, getting off the plane. Going to a party, coming back from a party. Eating food, going out, having a date, taking a shower, having a new job, quitting a job. People share everything. Have a little privacy. I don’t care if you’re hungry, get some food instead of writing about it.

Another thing that I have problem with is craving for acceptance and being right. Why can’t we apologize? Why can’t we be wrong? I’ve been wrong in many things in my life, so were you. What happened to accepting our mistakes and moving on to fix them? Why do we argue when we know we’re wrong? Nobody ever said oh that person just apologized that guy has no dignity. have you ever heard such stupid thing?

Accept your mistakes. Don’t block people because they proved you wrong and you didn’t want to be seen as a person who has mistakes. You’re not a god. Everybody makes mistakes and you’re not an exception. Accept your mistakes so we know you’re reasonable human being.

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Ali Reza Hayati

Entrepreneur, hacker, cypherpunk.