There’s nothing more human than

There’s nothing more human than

  • Texting people you’re on your way when you’re actually not even dressed.
  • Keep having hope when you know it’s not gonna happen/gonna happen.
  • Promising God you’ll behave when you need something from him.
  • Wandering around naked when nobody’s home.
  • Feeling beautiful when you look at yourself in the mirror but feeling opposite when you see yourself in front camera.
  • Wasting your money on something foolish when you need to spend on more serious stuff.
  • Unlocking your phone and then locking it immediately.
  • Looking at clock on your phone then forgetting the time right away.
  • Setting up multiple alarms, each 5 minutes apart, in the morning.
  • Lying about your age.
  • Speaking your mind while joking but truly meaning it.
  • Opening another bag of snacks when you finished one.
  • Grabbing some fruit or sweets from the box when you’re placing it inside the fridge.
  • Making lists of stupid stuff.
  • Dreaming about what would you do if you had Jeff Bezos money.
  • Imagining yourself in a race when you’re driving or walking in the sidewalk.
  • Imagining yourself as a singer in the shower.
  • Randomly counting your money in the wallet.
  • Writing something on social networks and not posting it.
  • Imagining you’re friends with someone famous or someone you look up to.
  • Being indecisive on unimportant matters or details.
  • Forgetting a specific thing when you know you know it, but right now that you need it, you forget about it.
  • Being depressed about your future while you know you’re fine.
  • Keep being calm and acting normal when you’re exploding from inside.
  • Doing the exact opposite of what you advise people to do.
  • Fantasizing about becoming a superhero.
  • Bluffing.
  • Imagining your wedding with a random person you see on street.
  • Randomly removing your mobile screen protection and getting a new one.
  • Being excited for your online order then being completely emotionless about it.
  • Playing a music track on loop too much that you get sick of it and can never listen to it again.
  • Forgetting what you’ve put in the list so you put it on again then you realize it’s duplicate so you remove it.
  • Being excited about a change then realizing what you had before was better.
  • Giving excuses to continue your behavior towards something when you know it’s just an excuse and you don’t really mean it or believe in it.
  • Suddenly doubting everything in life.
  • Forgetting why you were angry at someone/something but keeping your distance.
  • Wanting to text someone but being afraid that you look cheesy.
  • Trying to prove yourself to someone.
  • Getting tired of proving yourself to people.
  • Disagreeing with someone even if, deep down, you agree with that person.
  • Not liking someone you don’t even met. You just don’t like the sound of that person.
  • Answering someone’s messages just because you have to keep social manners but you don’t really want to answer.
  • Leaving someone on ‘seen’, thinking you’ll answer later, but totally forget about it.
  • Having a favorite set of outfit.
  • Drinking something out of habit, not because you really like it.
  • Suddenly starting to cry with no reason.
  • Getting up and your brain decides you’re sad today.
  • Getting up and thinking it’s a sad day but it turns out to be a really good day.
  • Getting up hyped and happy then becoming the least-lucky person alive.
  • Actually being afraid of flying (airplanes) but pretending you’re not.
  • Reading an entire page of a book and then having to read it again because you can’t remember a word of it.
  • Picking up something you dropped by your toes.
  • Checking if something is expired by sniffing it.
  • Holding your breath when the main character in the movie goes under water to see if you would survive in the same situation.
  • Peeing in the shower.
  • Accidentally sending a text to the person you’re talking about.
  • Carrying too much from your car or somewhere so make it in one trip.
  • Running to your room when you turn off the lights in living room so the monster won’t catch you.
  • Drinking something out of the cap.
  • Drinking directly from the bottle instead of pouring it into a cup.
  • Trying to push down every color in those pens we all had.
  • Spinning an apple by holding the stalk.
  • Grabbing and cutting a leaf when you walk past a tree.
  • Trying to put the light switch halfway.
  • Trying to peel an orange in one go.
  • Disassembling and then reassembling your pen and imagining it’s a gun or bomb.
  • Not stepping on lines on sidewalks.
  • Trying to go upstairs but using least steps as possible.
  • Randomly opening the fridge when you’re bored and keep going at it every 10 minutes.
  • Opening the microwave one second before the alarm goes off.
  • Checking if you can do something faster than your shadow.
  • Adapting an accent from someone you’re talking to.
  • Reacting so fast that you think you’re an Avenger. You’ll test if you’ve became Spiderman or Dr. Strange.
  • Writing something someone says instead of writing what you actually wanted to write.
  • Sniffing your armpits to check if you smell.
  • Going up on a slide instead of the stairs.
  • Singling or talking into the fan like a robot.
  • Drinking juice from a wine glass and pretending you’re drinking alcohol.
  • Poking holes in the pencil eraser.
  • Pretending you’re giving yourself a shot with those mechanical pencils.
  • Fake sleeping.
  • Smelling book pages.
  • Closing the fridge door slowly so you can see when the lights go off.
  • Trying to finish your drink at the same time as your cake/meal.
  • Blow bubbles on your drink.
  • Putting hair clip on your mouth.
  • Using your hand as a cup when drinking water.
  • Pretending you’re smoking when it’s so cold that that steam-like thing comes out of your mouth.
  • Writing 07734 on your calculator and turning it upside down so it reads “hello.”
  • Jumping on bed or sofas.
  • TV as background music.
  • Repeating some part of a music that you like more than other parts.
  • Imagining yourself in a movie fight scene and knocking out your enemies.
  • Building a castle using bed sheets and pillows.
  • Looking into a pipe and pretending you’re a pirate.
  • Drawing on the steam on the car windows.
  • Lying when you didn’t need to and you don’t know why you lied.
  • Claiming you have ability and talent when you finished the game completely out of luck.
  • Licking yogurt lids.
  • Walking along the fences and touching it.
  • Peel the paint off the walls.
  • Make a ring with our fingers and put it under a stream of water so it wouldn’t touch our hands.
  • Trying to connect two magnets with same poles.
  • Holding the ice cream stick in our mouth after we finished eating it.
  • Drawing nonsense on paper or books during long phone calls or in classrooms.
  • Hiding in clothes rack in malls.
  • Forcing kids or being forced to talk to relatives on the phone.
  • Imagining you’re driving a race car when you push the shopping cart in the mall.
  • Checking if somebody sees you after using the bathroom so you can skip washing your hands.
  • Sitting next to your parents watching TV but not loving a muscle so they don’t notice it’s past your bed time.
  • Acting suspiciously when you see a CCTV in the store.
  • Being super concerned about the Bermuda Triangle.
  • Opening the battery lid on TV remote.
  • Mixing different soda flavors.
  • Putting glue on your hand and peeling it off when it’s dry.
  • Making origami fortune tellers.
  • Practicing your autograph.
  • Shampoo mohawk.
  • Lying to children.
  • Eating too much that you fall asleep.
  • Getting stressed for no reason.
  • Ending lists on random numbers and items just to mess with you.

Published by

Avatar photo

Ali Reza Hayati

Entrepreneur, hacker, cypherpunk.