It’s the 22nd day of complete internet blackout here in Iran and I just could get connected with a help of a friend for some time. Never thought we would experience such situation. Just hope everything ends well for the people.
Happy Nowruz everybody.
When I was a child, I used to be influenced by movies I watched. Pretending to be a superhero with a cape, a gangster smoking a cigarette, an old wise man drinking beer and living happily with his family, an army guy who saves the country and wins the war. I believe a lot of kids were and are this way.
Later when I grew older, this changed a little. I still were influenced but I wasn’t playing the character anymore, rather I tried to imitate that person and act like him. I tried to behave like him. I was a young man (not that I’m old now) and my personality was still shaping.
Lately I found something new about myself. Now when I watch a movie or a series, I don’t try to become anyone, I don’t try to act or behave like them, rather I try to learn from them. Now when I watch a movie, I think more about the reason behind their attitude, the logic of their acts, the story they’re telling, and the message they carry. I feel more grown up right now.
I’ve been watching The Witcher series recently and what I’ve learned from it was that no matter how much you’re hurt, no matter how much damage you take, physically or mentally, your mission and purpose is more important to give up. It doesn’t matter how lonely you feel you are, doesn’t matter how many people come and go on your route to destiny, you can’t give up.
In these times, when we feel we’re alone in this world, when we feel that our mission and our purpose is impossible to reach, the most important decision to make is to just take another step forward and finally we’ll succeed, in our way. Disappointments come and go, we may get exhausted, fearful, feel broken, and hopeless, but we shall continue because stopping is never a wise choice. You may slow down, you may have to take the longer route, you may have to get some rest and take some time to recover, but you must always get back on your feet and continue forward until you reach your destiny.
For a long time, I used to write my name as Ali Reza, which I believed was the correct way and form of writing it. Now I switched back to Alireza, which is the current standard and accepted way of writing it, and is how it’s written in my passport. I updated my blog and every online presence I could think of. Please, if you link to me anywhere, update it to this form.
Not that it matters but I needed a distraction from what is happening right now in my country.
The internet censorship and filtering in Iran is now in another level. We’re now living behind a firewall. Not long ago, before the 20-day full blackout, we had a blacklist-type internet filtering system. If you’re not familiar with it, living in a normal country, a blacklist filtering system means everything is open to people unless the regime decides you’re not supposed to access something. But we’re passed that, moved to a whitelist system.
Now instead of deciding whether you’re not supposed to see something, it decides whether you’re supposed to see. Meaning everything is down, filtered and censored, and every access is restricted unless the regime decides it’s OK for you, the peasant, to see it.
Us the serfs and slaves are now behind the firewall. Internet is now a class system. Not everyone is equal. Those who are trusted may access a wider range of web sites, services, or internet-connected applications while the rest of us are lowest class, accessing the minimum when our owners decide so.
We’re now dogs, not humans. While our masters and owners are sitting at the table having a feast, we’re sitting under the table waiting for a bone thrown at us so we don’t starve to death.
With the shadow of war now hanging over us, we only wonder, is there any future left for us? And what can we do except hoping for brighter days?
Aside from being unable to contact your loved ones abroad, updating your computer programs and operating systems, getting new or needed software, or simply getting music and videos/movies, being disconnected from world makes you mentally unstable.
It’s the 20th day of internet blackout here and the frustration is making me crazy. It’s some new feelings I’m experiencing. Anger on top of them.
I have to try hundreds (no exaggeration) of VPN configurations just to be able to load this blog, refresh and wait for more than an hour to be able to enter the “posting” page and then try hundreds of times again to finally post something. Just to get a feeling that we’re not North Korean yet.
I’m telling you. It’s driving a lot of people crazy.
The internet situation is beyond bad. Calling it “the internet” hardly makes sense anymore. Nearly everything is cut off. A few VPNs, made available by free-internet activists, work sporadically and only for short periods. There is no real access to anything: no email, no international websites, nothing reliable. Verification SMS messages don’t arrive. All we hear from the regime are the same hollow promises about restoring access “today or tomorrow.”
Maybe one percent of people can connect to the global network, and even that connection usually collapses after a few hours. What’s happening to us goes far beyond the loss of internet access. It’s difficult to even put into words. Language fails to convey the true scale of this disaster.
I wish there were a rescuer.
Words can’t explain our suffering here. Nothing can express the pain we are in. You have no idea what has happened to us.
This to remember those days. No internet, no SMS, and no phone calls. Absolute silence, cut off from everything. Hopeless. Helpless.
My lost brothers and sisters, may you rest in peace. You’ll be missed but never forgotten.
I just connected to internet using a VPN. I don’t know how long this will last and whether we experience another complete blackout or not but let this be a reminder that we lasted this long trying our best to better our lives and make a future for our children and we’re still fighting.
I finally watched The Lord of the Rings. I can’t believe I waited this long. There are so many amazing movies I haven’t seen, and I am trying to catch up.
It took me four days to finish it, taking 10 hours of my time to fully understand everything and I realized I really need to watch The Hobbit and read the books to get the full story.
No regrets, though. I had a lot of fun, and I am really glad I finally gave it a shot.
Life’s got a lot of ups and downs and I learned to deal with them. There has been a lot of pressure on me lately, lots of disappointments. I tried my best to keep my spirits up, show strength, and act strong but sometimes you just need to decompress.
I’d like to listen to my favorite music, watch some National Geographic documentaries, eat food, and read some interesting articles. This fuels me to be able to battle my problems head-on.
I’ve faced setbacks in my life before but I’ve learned that it’s not the end of the world. I always say that everything happens in its own time and I truly believe in it. I don’t sit and upset myself over something I have no control over. I try my best to turn the situation, if I succeed I’ll be happy and if I fail, I know I’ve tried my best.
I don’t worry about the future I’m unaware of. I’ll try my best to plan for upcoming situations but that won’t make me live in constant distress. I want to live, not just be alive. I won’t ruin the moments I can enjoy because I don’t know what will happen to me.
Right now I’m listening to “Walk My Walk” by Breaking Rust, drinking green tea, and getting ready to take a training course on a computer program that I use in my job. I won’t let these ups and downs knock me off my path.